Hot take: a lot of mindfulness, ego-dissolution, and self-acceptance practice is good for happiness because it is mostly a cope. Many people unfortunately aren’t in a position to genuinely actualize their values in the world and it’s less painful to accept this than struggle fruitlessly and suffer.

I think that people who are in a position to help others and change the world should not accept apparent limitations; they should rage and fight and make change! They should harness their ego, focus on outcomes, and refuse to accept the status quo! But not everyone has the chance or resources to fight–some people have suffered so much and just want to rest–and I think it’s better to accept limitations than to struggle needlessly. There is never shame in doing one’s best.

I think integration and self-acceptance are generally good for everyone to some extent, though I think this can go too far (e.g., people quitting their impactful tech jobs to become wellness gurus, people losing their drive after they go too deep in meditation or take drugs). I might be weird, but I view dissatisfaction as a useful pointer or driver of (often positive) change. Sure, sometimes your sensor is miscalibrated, but I am wary of overcorrecting. “Perpetual mild dissatisfaction with frequent bursts of joy and regular intense striving” seems the ideal way for me to live. I’ve benefited a lot from ACT and gratitude practice, but I don’t regularly engage in these anymore. I got what I needed. At some point, I’ll need more; but for now I’m in a strong holding pattern.

I think the brand of “self-acceptance” I disfavor is the type that overrules necessary/positive change. I think people should ideally be always striving for self-improvement and there’s a delicate balance between too much acceptance (complacency) and too much dissatisfaction (mania/obsessive-compulsive/scrupulosity).