I have a hard core of ever-present anxiety sometimes. It feels somewhat related to imposter syndrome, but not quite. It’s not exactly performance anxiety either, because I have deep faith in my ability to pull out something awesome at the last minute in most situations. I feel most anxious and afraid when it seems like my work (and to some extent the world) is evolving faster than I can track and might careen towards disaster or necessitate prolonged repair if I’m not on top of things.

The only fixes seems to be: 1) doing the work required to understand and steer the system; 2) finding people I trust and delegating steering to them; and 3) relaxing my standards and letting go of the need for control. However, sometimes I don’t have time to do the work and things pile up unsustainably. Sometimes I can’t find someone I trust to delegate to, or find the time to fully convey my knowledge and standards. Sometimes letting go is disastrous or something essential and ineffable (the “secret sauce”) is lost.

Ultimately, I think the only solution is to “give away your Legos”: find people you trust and give them the freedom to succeed or fail at some part of the edifice. This will mean accepting “incorrect” or imperfect builds, or allowing for creative differences. Learning what variation to accept as natural and good, and what variation to restrict is key to becoming a good leader. I’ve spoken before about the usefulness of learning to manually “unclench” and accept imperfection; however, knowing when to “unclench” is just as important.